Thursday 9 April 2015

The Party Political Broadcast Review Part II (this time it's principled?)

So last time I reviewed the big three PPB however we all know that this election will not just be fought by the big three Westminster parties, but also the fringe parties. Traditionally the fringe parties were just there for a bit of a laugh, or for people who wanted a protest vote, or for people who were actually mental. But in the last five years that's all changed. There is now a whole host of smaller, regional and possibly more likeable political parties to choose from so let's start of with the everyone favourite drunk uncle at a wedding...UKIP.


Now as I mentioned in the last blog the last thing any party wants to do is place it's leader in the middle of it's campaign ad, politicians are to the PPB what Scrappy Do is to Scooby Do, contributes nothing and just pisses everyone off. Of course that is slightly different when it comes to UKIP, there major asset is their leader, Mr Nigel Farage. A lot has been said about Farage and UKIP, it's almost impossible to turn on the news without fag smoking, beer swilling, Un-PCing, Nigel describing himself as a fox in the Westminster hen house, or a bull in the china shop of Brussels or a dead badger in the road of progress. Nigel Farage definitely has the X factor, so it only make sense that he be the star of their film. We see Farage in full 1970's sitcom character style, actually opening the ad by nicking a joke from Monty Python "And now for something completely different" personally if you asked me for a Python sketch for Farage to quote I would of suggested the upper class twit of the year. Anyway the ad cuts between Farage looking out onto the White Cliffs of Dover like he's a one man boarder control and Farage in a studio, looking like he's on Mastermind, specialist subject? Crisps flavours? Actually it appears to be the people's army, who Farage says is the driving force of the party, which is funny because despite all his talk of the people's army you don't really see much of them. It's almost like he's worried that if he puts them in front of camera they are going to say something embarrassing about gays, or blacks. We do briefly get to see part of the people's army when Farage addresses them at a conference in scenes that resemble Farage being a Preacher at a Deep South Bible Belt Church Service where everyone speaks in tongues. Anyway I suppose he deserves some credit for avoiding the phrase "I'm not racist but..."



Now from the white cliffs of Dover to north of Hadrian's wall. Now I know being English means I am the least qualified person in the world to talk about Scotland, but since when has blogs been written by people who know what they are talking about so... it's the SNP, or is it? The film starts with a car driving around a mountain range, like it's an advert for the latest Toyota car.Then a Voice Over starts "This is our country" oh wait it's not a Toyota advert it's an advert for Visit Scotland, oh I like these, the music the beautiful landscape...Oh wait how come were looking at a tower block? Oh there's Guitars and the car moves into the city centre, the video seems to really make it clear that it's being filmed in Scotland, actually there's no real information about policies or even ideology just "SCOTLAND! DO YOU LIKE SCOTLAND? I LIKE SCOTLAND, I'M FROM SCOTLAND, ARE YOU FROM SCOTLAND AS WELL? DON'T YOU HATE THE TORIES, I HATE THE TORIES TOO"Which is fine because the advert ends with the camera panning out to show the man who's been talking to us saying "The question is who's going to stand up for Scotland?" The only question I'm left asking is "Are you like a famous person or something? Cause I don't recognise you?" Probably because I don't live in Scotland.



Now on a whistle stop tour of the UK we head over to the valleys, do you remember Little Britain, do you remember the "I'm the only gay in village" sketch? Yeah, Matt I do, why are you mentioning that, it's bit of an old reference? Not for Plaid Cymru, they open there PPB with a nice little nod to that sketch that is now over ten years old. A young man coming out to his parents as a Plaid voter, next we cutto  an office worker he looks nervous, his boss enters, she talks about cut backs, the future, is he getting fired, there are tissues? NO surprise she's also voting Plaid, and look she has the daffodils to prove it.
Next we have someone who's decided that she's showing her support by getting a tattoo and is showing it to her Nan, like you do! I'm sorry but the only people who get political tattoos are Neo Nazi. Later on we see said Nan getting her own tattoo and we appear to be full fantasy land, perhaps the subtext of the PPB is Plaid having a say in Westminster is as likely as your Nan getting a Tattoo, it could happen, but it would a strange and terrifying day. Plaid Cymru ad just comes across as being a bit naff, which is a shame because the SNP really seem to have a lot of energy, something the Plaid advert is missing.



Now it's time for sandle wearing, cycling loving and vegan friendly Green Party. Actually that kind of an out dated stereotype, and if you spend a lot of time on twitter (which this blogger does) you'd see that there a small but growing Green Surge and with the Greens picking up one seat in the House of Commons five years ago they clearly want to build on it. The Greens it has to be said have got a good PPB it's presents the Tories, Lib Dems, Labour and UKIP as all being in harmony, a singing a song about voting for them is all the same, like they are in a Boy band, it's a strong message and it's well executed, of course given the popularity of One Direction this could massively back fire, "Hey that coalition songs pretty catchy." Also I think Ed Miliband might come out of this advert looking pretty good seeing  as the actor they've hired to play him looks like he's Don Draper, he's dripping with cool, and Cameron playing the piano, that's a million times cooler than anything he has ever done. Actually I like to see them develop the Boy Band motif for the rest of the campaign.
"Oh who's your favourite?"
"Oh I love Nick C, he's so dreaming, the way he says sorry drives me wild"

There could be T shirts and pillow cases, hey what about some action figures.
Of course I'm waiting for the ill advised and clumsy retaliation where one of the parties portrays Sturgeon , Bennett & Wood as a girl band. But what to call them Non Atomic Kitten? Girls Aloud the same salaries as men?

So if this election was fought solely on the bases of who had the best Party Political Broadcast, it's hard to say who'd win, I'd know who would lose. My advice for future PPB film makers, drop the Politician, spend a bit of time deciding what your message is, come up with a clever, interesting and entertaining way to deliver that message and for the love of God don't make something that reminds me off a 90's road safety video (see previous blog).

Friday 3 April 2015

The Party Political Broadcast Review

Disclaimer: This blog will purely focus on the merits of each Party Political Broadcast (or PPB if you will) on its film making merits. It will offer you nothing as a piece of political journalism or help you understand what each party stands for or just what on earth you are meant to do come May 7th. 

So first up in the PPB review is the big three parties. The Labour  Party have decided to use the one arsenal it has that no other party has, likeable celebrity supporters, sure every party has celebrity supporters, but only Labour can boast actually having celebrities people like. The last thing the Tories need is Paul Daniels turning up at tea time telling people to vote Conservative as all it will do is remind people that one, he's still alive and two, probably the only person left from 70's light entertainment television who isn't dead or in prison.

The Labour Party have plucked  for Martin Freeman aka Bilbo Baggins  aka Tim from the Office aka Man Trap from The Bill (no I don't remember him being in it either), as this year's election celebrity of choice. Martin Freeman appears in a studio with no fancy set or impressive visual effects, he talks you through all the reasons why he will be voting Labour. I think the idea is meant to be no frills just focus on our message, sadly it comes across more like the whole thing been rushed together in a lunchtime and nobody could really be bothered with it, which is a shame, having Freeman in your PPB has so much potential that is wasted. Perhaps you could  have dressed him up as a hobbit comparing the Tories long term economic plan to Smaug the Dragon stealing the Dwarfs gold. Or maybe you could have reunited Tim and Gareth from The Office, with Gareth saying Conservative Party policies and Tim doing that face, you know THAT FACE! You know the one! The whole thing feels like a wasted opportunity. And what about Dr. John Watson I hear you ask, well a nice mild mannered man who lives with a posh bloke who thinks he's smarter than everybody else and has psychopathic tendencies would probably be better suited to the Liberal Democrats.



Which neatly brings me to my next PPB, what on earth were the Lib Dems thinking with this utter car wreck (no pun intended, actually no it was an intended pun!) of a PPB. Let's set the scene, it's night time a younger father puts his baby son in the back seat of the car, he takes him for a drive, he turns on the Sat Nav, even though he's just going to drive round his home town, who needs a Sat Nav for a trip like that? But soon he begins to doubt the Sat Nav.
SAT NAV: Go right?
MAN: No, that's too hard on working families.

SAT NAV: Go left?
MAN: No that will wreck the economy!
SAT NAV: Left or Right?
MAN: Can't I have both?

No because you'll end up going around in circles. Honestly I think this might be the worse metaphor ever! I mean what are they trying to say, the Lib Dems will buy a Sat Nav and then ignore it? Look left, look right, then cross, reminds me more of those Hedgehogs you use to get  in road safety adverts in the 90's. Honestly I'm so disappointed in the Lib Dems, this is easily the worst thing they have done in the last five years. It looks like it's been put together by A level Media Studies students. At the end we see the man at a crossroads does he turn left or right? He goes straight ahead, straight down a dead end by the looks of things. I mean come on this is from the party that brought you the fantastically brilliant John Cleese PPB, MUST TRY HARDER!



Now so far both PPB have been missing something... Politicians, which to be honest makes a lot of sense seeing as how Politicians on television these days are about as popular as Mel Gibson is at a Bar Mitzvah.  So for whatever you think of the Conservatives PPB you have to admit that it's pretty ballsy to actually have David Cameron in it. Of course this isn't the David Cameron we all know and despise, this is relaxed Dave, Family Man Dave, just chillin' in ma crib Dave. Here we see Dave doing normal typical, family kind of stuff, like watching his son play football and watching his daughter play netball?  Unfortunately for Dave one of the plebs in the edit suite has cut the scene so it just looks like a middle age bloke dressed badly stood in a field practicing his Nazi salute. The ad seems to want to make a big deal about how Dave is human, and not and they want to make this absolutely clear not a Replicant. David Cameron is a father and husband and not an experiment in Artificial Intelligence that has gone horribly wrong. However it then seems to lose confidence in this narrative and cuts to some father and son (the lack of women in all three PPB is appalling) feeding the ducks, well I say feeding the ducks, the bread is meant for the ducks, but the child giving the bread away just starts stuffing his own fat gob, perhaps this is a metaphor for George Osborne's quantitative easing? Hmm?
Actually I think it's a shame we don't spend more time with typical bloke Dave, we could see him popping down to the local pub with his mate Jeremy Clarkson, drinking beer, ordering steak and starting a punch up when it doesn't arrive. Or perhaps we could see him popping round to the Brooks' house to have a ride on Rebecca's horse or have a look at Charlie's porn stash, or maybe he could go shopping with his kids forgetting his daughter like he forgets his green policy pledges. In the end I think they'd be much better off with a Replicant.

Next time I'll be reviewing everyone favourite fringe parties UKIP, Greens and the SNP.