The Party Political Broadcast Review

Disclaimer: This blog will purely focus on the merits of each Party Political Broadcast (or PPB if you will) on its film making merits. It will offer you nothing as a piece of political journalism or help you understand what each party stands for or just what on earth you are meant to do come May 7th. 

So first up in the PPB review is the big three parties. The Labour  Party have decided to use the one arsenal it has that no other party has, likeable celebrity supporters, sure every party has celebrity supporters, but only Labour can boast actually having celebrities people like. The last thing the Tories need is Paul Daniels turning up at tea time telling people to vote Conservative as all it will do is remind people that one, he's still alive and two, probably the only person left from 70's light entertainment television who isn't dead or in prison.

The Labour Party have plucked  for Martin Freeman aka Bilbo Baggins  aka Tim from the Office aka Man Trap from The Bill (no I don't remember him being in it either), as this year's election celebrity of choice. Martin Freeman appears in a studio with no fancy set or impressive visual effects, he talks you through all the reasons why he will be voting Labour. I think the idea is meant to be no frills just focus on our message, sadly it comes across more like the whole thing been rushed together in a lunchtime and nobody could really be bothered with it, which is a shame, having Freeman in your PPB has so much potential that is wasted. Perhaps you could  have dressed him up as a hobbit comparing the Tories long term economic plan to Smaug the Dragon stealing the Dwarfs gold. Or maybe you could have reunited Tim and Gareth from The Office, with Gareth saying Conservative Party policies and Tim doing that face, you know THAT FACE! You know the one! The whole thing feels like a wasted opportunity. And what about Dr. John Watson I hear you ask, well a nice mild mannered man who lives with a posh bloke who thinks he's smarter than everybody else and has psychopathic tendencies would probably be better suited to the Liberal Democrats.

Which neatly brings me to my next PPB, what on earth were the Lib Dems thinking with this utter car wreck (no pun intended, actually no it was an intended pun!) of a PPB. Let's set the scene, it's night time a younger father puts his baby son in the back seat of the car, he takes him for a drive, he turns on the Sat Nav, even though he's just going to drive round his home town, who needs a Sat Nav for a trip like that? But soon he begins to doubt the Sat Nav.
SAT NAV: Go right?
MAN: No, that's too hard on working families.

SAT NAV: Go left?
MAN: No that will wreck the economy!
SAT NAV: Left or Right?
MAN: Can't I have both?

No because you'll end up going around in circles. Honestly I think this might be the worse metaphor ever! I mean what are they trying to say, the Lib Dems will buy a Sat Nav and then ignore it? Look left, look right, then cross, reminds me more of those Hedgehogs you use to get  in road safety adverts in the 90's. Honestly I'm so disappointed in the Lib Dems, this is easily the worst thing they have done in the last five years. It looks like it's been put together by A level Media Studies students. At the end we see the man at a crossroads does he turn left or right? He goes straight ahead, straight down a dead end by the looks of things. I mean come on this is from the party that brought you the fantastically brilliant John Cleese PPB, MUST TRY HARDER!

Now so far both PPB have been missing something... Politicians, which to be honest makes a lot of sense seeing as how Politicians on television these days are about as popular as Mel Gibson is at a Bar Mitzvah.  So for whatever you think of the Conservatives PPB you have to admit that it's pretty ballsy to actually have David Cameron in it. Of course this isn't the David Cameron we all know and despise, this is relaxed Dave, Family Man Dave, just chillin' in ma crib Dave. Here we see Dave doing normal typical, family kind of stuff, like watching his son play football and watching his daughter play netball?  Unfortunately for Dave one of the plebs in the edit suite has cut the scene so it just looks like a middle age bloke dressed badly stood in a field practicing his Nazi salute. The ad seems to want to make a big deal about how Dave is human, and not and they want to make this absolutely clear not a Replicant. David Cameron is a father and husband and not an experiment in Artificial Intelligence that has gone horribly wrong. However it then seems to lose confidence in this narrative and cuts to some father and son (the lack of women in all three PPB is appalling) feeding the ducks, well I say feeding the ducks, the bread is meant for the ducks, but the child giving the bread away just starts stuffing his own fat gob, perhaps this is a metaphor for George Osborne's quantitative easing? Hmm?
Actually I think it's a shame we don't spend more time with typical bloke Dave, we could see him popping down to the local pub with his mate Jeremy Clarkson, drinking beer, ordering steak and starting a punch up when it doesn't arrive. Or perhaps we could see him popping round to the Brooks' house to have a ride on Rebecca's horse or have a look at Charlie's porn stash, or maybe he could go shopping with his kids forgetting his daughter like he forgets his green policy pledges. In the end I think they'd be much better off with a Replicant.

Next time I'll be reviewing everyone favourite fringe parties UKIP, Greens and the SNP.