The Party Political Broadcast Review Part II (this time it's principled?)

So last time I reviewed the big three PPB however we all know that this election will not just be fought by the big three Westminster parties, but also the fringe parties. Traditionally the fringe parties were just there for a bit of a laugh, or for people who wanted a protest vote, or for people who were actually mental. But in the last five years that's all changed. There is now a whole host of smaller, regional and possibly more likeable political parties to choose from so let's start of with the everyone favourite drunk uncle at a wedding...UKIP.

Now as I mentioned in the last blog the last thing any party wants to do is place it's leader in the middle of it's campaign ad, politicians are to the PPB what Scrappy Do is to Scooby Do, contributes nothing and just pisses everyone off. Of course that is slightly different when it comes to UKIP, there major asset is their leader, Mr Nigel Farage. A lot has been said about Farage and UKIP, it's almost impossible to turn on the news without fag smoking, beer swilling, Un-PCing, Nigel describing himself as a fox in the Westminster hen house, or a bull in the china shop of Brussels or a dead badger in the road of progress. Nigel Farage definitely has the X factor, so it only make sense that he be the star of their film. We see Farage in full 1970's sitcom character style, actually opening the ad by nicking a joke from Monty Python "And now for something completely different" personally if you asked me for a Python sketch for Farage to quote I would of suggested the upper class twit of the year. Anyway the ad cuts between Farage looking out onto the White Cliffs of Dover like he's a one man boarder control and Farage in a studio, looking like he's on Mastermind, specialist subject? Crisps flavours? Actually it appears to be the people's army, who Farage says is the driving force of the party, which is funny because despite all his talk of the people's army you don't really see much of them. It's almost like he's worried that if he puts them in front of camera they are going to say something embarrassing about gays, or blacks. We do briefly get to see part of the people's army when Farage addresses them at a conference in scenes that resemble Farage being a Preacher at a Deep South Bible Belt Church Service where everyone speaks in tongues. Anyway I suppose he deserves some credit for avoiding the phrase "I'm not racist but..."

Now from the white cliffs of Dover to north of Hadrian's wall. Now I know being English means I am the least qualified person in the world to talk about Scotland, but since when has blogs been written by people who know what they are talking about so... it's the SNP, or is it? The film starts with a car driving around a mountain range, like it's an advert for the latest Toyota car.Then a Voice Over starts "This is our country" oh wait it's not a Toyota advert it's an advert for Visit Scotland, oh I like these, the music the beautiful landscape...Oh wait how come were looking at a tower block? Oh there's Guitars and the car moves into the city centre, the video seems to really make it clear that it's being filmed in Scotland, actually there's no real information about policies or even ideology just "SCOTLAND! DO YOU LIKE SCOTLAND? I LIKE SCOTLAND, I'M FROM SCOTLAND, ARE YOU FROM SCOTLAND AS WELL? DON'T YOU HATE THE TORIES, I HATE THE TORIES TOO"Which is fine because the advert ends with the camera panning out to show the man who's been talking to us saying "The question is who's going to stand up for Scotland?" The only question I'm left asking is "Are you like a famous person or something? Cause I don't recognise you?" Probably because I don't live in Scotland.

Now on a whistle stop tour of the UK we head over to the valleys, do you remember Little Britain, do you remember the "I'm the only gay in village" sketch? Yeah, Matt I do, why are you mentioning that, it's bit of an old reference? Not for Plaid Cymru, they open there PPB with a nice little nod to that sketch that is now over ten years old. A young man coming out to his parents as a Plaid voter, next we cutto  an office worker he looks nervous, his boss enters, she talks about cut backs, the future, is he getting fired, there are tissues? NO surprise she's also voting Plaid, and look she has the daffodils to prove it.
Next we have someone who's decided that she's showing her support by getting a tattoo and is showing it to her Nan, like you do! I'm sorry but the only people who get political tattoos are Neo Nazi. Later on we see said Nan getting her own tattoo and we appear to be full fantasy land, perhaps the subtext of the PPB is Plaid having a say in Westminster is as likely as your Nan getting a Tattoo, it could happen, but it would a strange and terrifying day. Plaid Cymru ad just comes across as being a bit naff, which is a shame because the SNP really seem to have a lot of energy, something the Plaid advert is missing.

Now it's time for sandle wearing, cycling loving and vegan friendly Green Party. Actually that kind of an out dated stereotype, and if you spend a lot of time on twitter (which this blogger does) you'd see that there a small but growing Green Surge and with the Greens picking up one seat in the House of Commons five years ago they clearly want to build on it. The Greens it has to be said have got a good PPB it's presents the Tories, Lib Dems, Labour and UKIP as all being in harmony, a singing a song about voting for them is all the same, like they are in a Boy band, it's a strong message and it's well executed, of course given the popularity of One Direction this could massively back fire, "Hey that coalition songs pretty catchy." Also I think Ed Miliband might come out of this advert looking pretty good seeing  as the actor they've hired to play him looks like he's Don Draper, he's dripping with cool, and Cameron playing the piano, that's a million times cooler than anything he has ever done. Actually I like to see them develop the Boy Band motif for the rest of the campaign.
"Oh who's your favourite?"
"Oh I love Nick C, he's so dreaming, the way he says sorry drives me wild"

There could be T shirts and pillow cases, hey what about some action figures.
Of course I'm waiting for the ill advised and clumsy retaliation where one of the parties portrays Sturgeon , Bennett & Wood as a girl band. But what to call them Non Atomic Kitten? Girls Aloud the same salaries as men?

So if this election was fought solely on the bases of who had the best Party Political Broadcast, it's hard to say who'd win, I'd know who would lose. My advice for future PPB film makers, drop the Politician, spend a bit of time deciding what your message is, come up with a clever, interesting and entertaining way to deliver that message and for the love of God don't make something that reminds me off a 90's road safety video (see previous blog).

The Party Political Broadcast Review

Disclaimer: This blog will purely focus on the merits of each Party Political Broadcast (or PPB if you will) on its film making merits. It will offer you nothing as a piece of political journalism or help you understand what each party stands for or just what on earth you are meant to do come May 7th. 

So first up in the PPB review is the big three parties. The Labour  Party have decided to use the one arsenal it has that no other party has, likeable celebrity supporters, sure every party has celebrity supporters, but only Labour can boast actually having celebrities people like. The last thing the Tories need is Paul Daniels turning up at tea time telling people to vote Conservative as all it will do is remind people that one, he's still alive and two, probably the only person left from 70's light entertainment television who isn't dead or in prison.

The Labour Party have plucked  for Martin Freeman aka Bilbo Baggins  aka Tim from the Office aka Man Trap from The Bill (no I don't remember him being in it either), as this year's election celebrity of choice. Martin Freeman appears in a studio with no fancy set or impressive visual effects, he talks you through all the reasons why he will be voting Labour. I think the idea is meant to be no frills just focus on our message, sadly it comes across more like the whole thing been rushed together in a lunchtime and nobody could really be bothered with it, which is a shame, having Freeman in your PPB has so much potential that is wasted. Perhaps you could  have dressed him up as a hobbit comparing the Tories long term economic plan to Smaug the Dragon stealing the Dwarfs gold. Or maybe you could have reunited Tim and Gareth from The Office, with Gareth saying Conservative Party policies and Tim doing that face, you know THAT FACE! You know the one! The whole thing feels like a wasted opportunity. And what about Dr. John Watson I hear you ask, well a nice mild mannered man who lives with a posh bloke who thinks he's smarter than everybody else and has psychopathic tendencies would probably be better suited to the Liberal Democrats.

Which neatly brings me to my next PPB, what on earth were the Lib Dems thinking with this utter car wreck (no pun intended, actually no it was an intended pun!) of a PPB. Let's set the scene, it's night time a younger father puts his baby son in the back seat of the car, he takes him for a drive, he turns on the Sat Nav, even though he's just going to drive round his home town, who needs a Sat Nav for a trip like that? But soon he begins to doubt the Sat Nav.
SAT NAV: Go right?
MAN: No, that's too hard on working families.

SAT NAV: Go left?
MAN: No that will wreck the economy!
SAT NAV: Left or Right?
MAN: Can't I have both?

No because you'll end up going around in circles. Honestly I think this might be the worse metaphor ever! I mean what are they trying to say, the Lib Dems will buy a Sat Nav and then ignore it? Look left, look right, then cross, reminds me more of those Hedgehogs you use to get  in road safety adverts in the 90's. Honestly I'm so disappointed in the Lib Dems, this is easily the worst thing they have done in the last five years. It looks like it's been put together by A level Media Studies students. At the end we see the man at a crossroads does he turn left or right? He goes straight ahead, straight down a dead end by the looks of things. I mean come on this is from the party that brought you the fantastically brilliant John Cleese PPB, MUST TRY HARDER!

Now so far both PPB have been missing something... Politicians, which to be honest makes a lot of sense seeing as how Politicians on television these days are about as popular as Mel Gibson is at a Bar Mitzvah.  So for whatever you think of the Conservatives PPB you have to admit that it's pretty ballsy to actually have David Cameron in it. Of course this isn't the David Cameron we all know and despise, this is relaxed Dave, Family Man Dave, just chillin' in ma crib Dave. Here we see Dave doing normal typical, family kind of stuff, like watching his son play football and watching his daughter play netball?  Unfortunately for Dave one of the plebs in the edit suite has cut the scene so it just looks like a middle age bloke dressed badly stood in a field practicing his Nazi salute. The ad seems to want to make a big deal about how Dave is human, and not and they want to make this absolutely clear not a Replicant. David Cameron is a father and husband and not an experiment in Artificial Intelligence that has gone horribly wrong. However it then seems to lose confidence in this narrative and cuts to some father and son (the lack of women in all three PPB is appalling) feeding the ducks, well I say feeding the ducks, the bread is meant for the ducks, but the child giving the bread away just starts stuffing his own fat gob, perhaps this is a metaphor for George Osborne's quantitative easing? Hmm?
Actually I think it's a shame we don't spend more time with typical bloke Dave, we could see him popping down to the local pub with his mate Jeremy Clarkson, drinking beer, ordering steak and starting a punch up when it doesn't arrive. Or perhaps we could see him popping round to the Brooks' house to have a ride on Rebecca's horse or have a look at Charlie's porn stash, or maybe he could go shopping with his kids forgetting his daughter like he forgets his green policy pledges. In the end I think they'd be much better off with a Replicant.

Next time I'll be reviewing everyone favourite fringe parties UKIP, Greens and the SNP.

Edinburgh Fringe Daily Diary Day 12 Friday 22nd and Day 13 Saturday 23rd

So Friday was my last full day in Edinburgh. It began earlier than other days as Joe came in at 6:30 in the morning and proceed to play his fucking ukulele singing "EVERYONE IN THE FLAT GET UP!"  How that boy has so much energy to keeping going I do not know!
I took one last chance to walk around the city that had been my home for the past couple of weeks, I was going to miss the city, it really is beautiful, I met with Gary, Baz and Jess for lunch, Gary wanted to have haggis one last time (I mean he calls it haggis, he's veggie it's not its just vegetables they sell vegetables everywhere) After that we hit the Royal Mile one last time, the street didn't seem very busy but I got a lot more people asking me where the venue was and what time it started and how long it would go on for etc etc. Questions like that are normally a positive sign that they are going to come and watch and we got a reasonably large crowd at least 30 with a few late walk-ins could have been more. As I was coming to and end of my time at the Royal Mile a women came up to me taking a flyer.

"I know you from somewhere?"

"Yes, I think I know you"

"Where do I know you from?"

"I don't know" I should point out it was raining and I had hood so the fact anyone could recognise  my face was rather impressive.

She looked at me and then on the flyer and began to walk away shouting "I'll figure it out." Just as she was out of view I heard her shout two words which meant she defiantly knew me and this wasn't a case of mistaken identity.

"HOLMES CHAPEL"

"Yes" Was all I said as a response, I'm from Holmes Chapel that much is true, but I still didn't know the women in question. It was rattling my brain for over an hour, I would look back at Jamie and say "Who was that?" and he'd shrug. Then it hit me or it kind of did because I'm still not if I'm right but I'm pretty certain 60% certain that 58% certain, I think, that it was an old Drama teacher, Miss Nelson I hadn't seen her for about ten years I was a lot shorter last time she saw me so well done on her for noticing. I felt bad for not being able to make the link sooner but if this was after two weeks of fringe antics and I had been up since 6:30 am. So my apologies for not recognising you (if you were at the fringe or know someone who was at the fringe who saw me and was pissed off I didn't recognise them please get in touch, and I'm sorry brain has stopped working properly.)

The gig was fairly busy which was nice for our last night but they weren't a loud audience, but at least I was looking at smiling faces rather than one man wanting to punch me in the face. After the gig we went out drinking and we ended up in a bar, called Frankenstein's which seemed to only have memorabilia relating to Frankenstein's monster and very little regarding the man Dr. Frankenstein a cynical me might say that the person who did the decor didn't know that Frankenstein and the Monster are two separate characters but I'm sure that isn't the case.

The bouncer in the club didn't seem to like us, at one point I was dancing and was told by the bouncer if I did that again he'd kick me out. Gary decided to do an Irish jig claiming the Killers were a Irish folk band that sold out. We had fun, but that bouncer will definitely be voting Yes in the upcoming referendum.

Epilogue - Day 13 Saturday 23rd

The next day we woke up hungover and packed our things, we got out on time (+50 minutes) and headed over to the Purple Pig which is where I met Gary and Hayley on the first day, an event that seems like a lifetime ago. I left after eating as my train was a few hours before everybody else's. The train was packed and I spent most of the time sleeping. The train pulled in at Crewe and I was home, my Edinburgh adventure over. Right now to start planning next year's show...

Edinburgh Fringe Daily Diary Day 11 Thursday 21st

So we are getting towards the end of our run, it has been fun but it's also been hard work and exhausting. Today I wanted to get away from the fringe so I set off fairly early and went to browse some second hand book stores and record shops. I sat in a cafe and had a coffee and didn't really do anything. I then headed back towards the centre of the city and grab myself some lunch from the Tempting Tattie. I ordered a medium potato which in hindsight was fucking mental as it was huge but delicious the guy behind the counter was really friendly and we had a little chat. Afterwards I walked over to Haymarket train station to pick our friend Jess up, we dropped her bags off at the flat and then headed up towards the Royal Mile.

I then went to meet Gary and Joe who were ukulele shopping. Joe uses one in his act and he want one of superior quality than the plastic one he purchased from the Early Learning Centre five years ago.  When I arrived Gary was sat on a sofa in the shop and Joe was quizing the sales women over the ukulele.

"It sounds better than my current one"

"Yeah it will because it's made out of wood, not plastic."

"Yeah, but it's not blue, my current one is blue, could I paint this one?"

"No. Well you could, but you'd ruin it."

After Joe brought his ukulele we headed up to the Royal Mile and began to flyer, we were starting earlier today as we really wanted a good crowd for our second to last night. I also needed to head over to drop of our donation for the PBH Free Fringe. As I was walking down the street the heavens opened and I was almost drowned by the onslaught of water. The entire mile was deserted, this was worrying as it was about 4:15 and this was prime time to be flyering for the show. I went and sat with Gary and his friend Baz in Sportsters bar as I attempted to dry off. We waited for an hour for the rain to die down, but I really had been caught in the thick off it and my socks would remain wet till I got home in the evening (after 10pm)

We hit the mile again, now that the rain had died down there were few people, but even fewer flyers which I think worked in our favour there was more room to walk up and down the mile, so people were more likely to stop and talk to us about our shop.

Tonight's gig went really well for all three of us, they were a loud friendly audience, my only problem was at the end when off my set where I lose my temper with the audience was hard to pull off because the audience were so lovely everyone was doing what I said first time, but I successfully imagined to isolate myself from the audience once again and the gig was a success. So successful that someone left a bag of frozen peas, which I think tops the teddy bear from last week. Of course I'm not sure if this counts in the same way as it was from my friend and his Dad who had come to see the show and had read the blog about the teddy bear, still the vegetables are appreciated.

We had tea at Pizza Hut and we were lucky enough to be served by George again, he was as friendly and as funny as last time. Joe was ordering a glass of water and then several other people asked for water, George said
"None of you wanted water until he said it."

"Perhaps we could just get a jug?" I suggested

"You couldn't drink a whole jug by yourself" I mean that's not what I had meant but it was funny and I saw it as a challenge.

He brought over a jug and we continued with our meal, about half an hour later he walked past and had another look.

"You're getting through that fast. Do you want another one?"

"I think I'll be fine thanks."

"Are you sure, because if you had two you could hold them up and go look at my jugs."

How could I say no.

We left Pizza Hut and grabbed a taxi home, everyone was up for going out but I felt like I needed a early night, and I don't think my stomach could take another night of drinking (it was still recovering from the stupid amount of water I drank.) I caught up with a bit of TV and then went to bed. Tomorrow the last day and I hope it goes well I really want to end this festival on a high.

Edinburgh Fringe Daily Diary Day 10 Wednesday 20th

So firstly I should mention a few things that I forgot from yesterday's blog. Firstly Gary and Joe managed to get on ITV news on Tuesday. It was during their segment on the fringe and Tim Vine winning the best joke of the fringe competition. They were only on for a few second but it was a funny shot of them. They were cut from the 10 O'clock news bloody censorship that what that is.

I had a leisurely morning and then Mark and I decided that we would go and see James Freeman's Man of Steal which had been recommend to us by Gary. James Freeman is a master pickpocket and a rather good showman as well. The show was on in the Voodoo Rooms a venue which is part of the free fringe venue that hasn't failed to disappoint me once.

After that we grab a coffee and then I went for lunch with Gary. He had Haggis, sorry he had vegetarian haggis, he insists on calling Haggis, it's just vegetables mushed together. Before long it was 4 O'clock and that only means one thing time to start flyering. We hit the Royal Mile and the Royal Mile hit back, back into the left. Round 1, Round 2, Round 3 ding ding ding. Sorry just filling up space.

The room for the gig filled up nicely we had a solid 30 in the room. We started a bit late as we were waiting on a few audience members to get drinks. The back doors sketch that we open with got a great response one of the best of the fringe so far (two shows left, two shows left) however after that the audience were a struggle they were all smiling but laughs were spread out. At the start of the run I might have panicked, but by now I had enough self confidence to go out there and just do what I do and hope for the best. The audience smiled as I went through my set, it went well with a few loud audience members laughing. Joe came on stage at the end of my stage to tell people to tweet about us. This got a few laughs when I kicked off at him.

As Joe was collecting money a elderly couple who had been sat in the second row walked up to him and said with no anger or malice "Garbage, absolute garbage" still nice of my parents to come and watch. BOOM! THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL A JOKE! Don't worry there's none of them in the show.

Afterwards we took Mark to Mosque kitchen because I WILL NEVER TIRE OF THAT PLACE I LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT!

Then Mark and myself headed over to Free Sisters to see Joe Munrow, I'd seen the end of his show the other week when I walked in 45 minutes late, so it was good to see it in it's entirety. He's playing in a yurt which as you can imagine doesn't have the best sound proofing but his material and stage charisma makes up for any drum and base leaking into the tent.

After that it was a quick walk home and then bed.

Edinburgh Fringe Daily Diary Day 9 Tuesday 19th

So today was the last day Oonagh was up visiting, we got up early and headed into town with me dragging her portable library  (she doing her masters so brings about 13 hardback with her wherever she travels.) We went for Brunch (yeah that's right we're those type of people) at Sportsters bar, the food was OK and then we waited for Ed O'Mera show, it's about the Roman Empire and Oonagh had wanted to see whilst we'd be up but we'd frequently ran out of time. Ed is really friendly and funny, his other show is on after ours so if you are planning on coming to see us you should defiantly hang around for his show.  After the show Gary and Mark Till were waiting outside. Mark had come up to visit us for a few days as massive Sherlock Holmes we took him to The Conan Doyle pub which is in the square that Arthur Conan Doyle was born in. Gary is obsessed with Edinburgh so walking through the streets you get a history lesson about the city and Mark is an encyclopedia when it comes to life and work of Conan Doyle, thus making this the most informed walk I'd ever been on.

Mark and Gary had lunch and then we headed on down towards the Royal Mile to do some flyering. We flyered hard today and with Oonagh, Mark and Jamie all lending a hand we were able to hand a fair few out, I also found people asking me where the venue was which I guess can only be a good sign. Before the show began I took Oonagh to the train station and we said goodbye.

I ran back to the venue and got changed. We had a nice crowd at least 30 and they were all friendly and smiling which is always a bonus. However we realised we couldn't get the speakers to work, the other week I'd experimented seeing what the room would be like with a mic, I didn't enjoy it but I knew I could do it. Joe and Gary were a bit more panicky about the mic not working and on top off that Gary was having trouble tuning his banjo. We did the low-fi version of the show, the crowd were really lovely and even though some bits just didn't work as well the gig was a success with some lovely feedback.

After the show I had to make a quick exit as I had a ticket to see Josie Long. Josie's show is easily one my favourite at this years fringe, the show is funny and heart felt and as an audience you really go on a journey but not one of those shitty contrived ones. Josie Long is a brilliant comedian but this was by far her most personal show, it's also her funniest.  Afterwards I sent the guys and text to see where they were and was waiting outside the venue, I noticed some other people were waiting obviously to see Josie. Oonagh and I had tried to get tickets for the gig at the weekend but she had sold out it was totally my fault as I should have been more organised. I thought Josie could sign the free comic she gives her audience at the start the show. Josie came out and it became clear that the people waiting for her weren't fans but actual friends off hers. I was about to turn around when her friend pointed out that I was waiting to speak to her. I explained that Oonagh had tried to see her and she was really friendly and lovely and signed the programme and asked what  Oonagh was studying, after that I gave her a flyer for my show and she had a look at it and asked me how the show was going, I was honest said I found the last week tough but things were starting to get better. She said that normally the way it goes. She also found the photo of Joe on the back really funny. She said she probably wouldn't be able to make our show as she liked to relax before performing but wished me luck.

After that I met back up with the guys, Joe wanted to go to C-Venue Gary said wild horses couldn't keep him out...we compromised with a drink in a bar and then headed home.

Edinburgh Fringe Festival Diary Day 8 Monday 18th

Well the weekend was over and we were back to work today, myself and Oonagh didn't have any plans for the morning so we just pottered around the house. We had planned on going to see a play called Unsung at C-Nova, sadly though when we arrived at the venue, due a family emergency the show wasn't able to go ahead, which was a shame but hopefully I'll be able to catch it later on in the week. After that we headed down to Greyfriar's Bobby, one thing I am get impressed with is just how good my navigation skills around the city are people able to take short cuts and see which streets lead where. Greyfriar's Bobby is a local legend off a loyal dog who's said to have waited by his master's grave for 14 years. Over years people have questioned the legitimacy off this story, with there being three, that;s right three books claiming to have finally exposed the truth, I mean it's a nice story and anyone with common sense might be see how the story isn't a hundred percent true, but writing a book about one urban legend? Time well spent. We met up with Jamie who's here for the week with his family, we grabbed some food and then it was time to flyer.

Flyering today seemed to be hard for me I don't know if I just stood at the wrong part in the mile or my weekend off had knocked my confidence but there weren't many people taking flyers, Joe, Gary and Oonagh all seemed to be having more luck than myself. Gary and Joe dress as the old couple from our first sketch and this is often a successful way off dragging people into the show. Today though well, I don't if you've ever seen them but there are stages up and down the Royal Mile, normally they are vacated by a cappella groups or shows about Oliver Twist set in Nazi Germany, but day there was a gap for some reason and the women in charge (we say in charge she was just wearing a high vis jacket she could have been anyone) said Joe and Gary could have 15 minutes to perform, they got and perform a series of songs (they played blowin' in the wind 5 times) this gathered a crowd who I could then flyer. I do have photos and videos which I'll upload when the day to day madness off all of this has died down.

 Something must have worked because we got about 30 people in the room. Joe and Gary sets went down well, although they both said they had found the room hard, I went out and gave the best performance I had given off the entire fringe. It felt pretty amazing, gig haven't been going badly but I've never been as good as I would have liked to have been, or I've been on top form but the audience didn't get but tonight all was perfect, and it was being filmed, right up until I heard my camera making a very strange noise. I looked over and Oonagh was looking at the camera with a sense of panic.

I FUCKING HATE MY CAMERA WHY? IT'S ALWAYS FUCKING WORKED *runs over and grabs tree branch and starts hitting the camera* WHY NOW? WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST?

but despite this I enjoyed the gig, afterwards it was quick turn around to go and see Frank Skinner, we got to the venue just in time and watch him do his set, Skinner really is a master off his art form, and it was well written and performed show (but then what do you expect). Afterwards Joe and Gary hung around has they wanted their photo taken with him, we saw him leave a few minutes later he was really friendly and just bloody lovely but apologise as his taxi was waiting for him, just as he was about to leave Oonagh told Frank that her Mum had seen him do a gig at the Bear pub in Bearwood (the road where Smethwick and Birmingham met) whilst she was pregnant with Oonagh.
"Oh Oonagh, that makes you my youngest fan." He then insisted on giving Oonagh a hug, we said our goodbyes and thanked him. We headed back towards the main street to get some food. When we heard a voice shout "Oonagh" we turned round and it was the member of security who had been walking next to Frank, "Frank just said as he got in the car I should have asked her for some money for that gig." Frank Skinner is just bloody lovely.